Neurotic Tirades

I’m going to completely avoid the obvious, that no one has heard a funny “knock knock joke” since they were 6.

My quarrel with knock knock jokes is the entire structure.

Who the hell knocks twice?  I’d say the minimum standard for all door knocking is definitely 3.  One or two knocks and you won’t even notice or think it is someone at your door.  Go ahead, try it out, knock on something right now.  It just doesn’t sound right unless you knock at least three times.

…and who really does the “Who’s there” any more?  We look through the peephole and immediately decide to either ignore it or answer it.  Then when we do answer it, it’s usually a warm greeting if a friend/family, and if it is a salesperson/mailman/whatever we usually just open the door and let them start their pitch.

Neurotic Tirades has been quiet for far too long.
I haven’t really had any original thoughts I’ve added here.. but I’d love submissions.
Please submit your own tirades. 

Neurotic Tirades has been quiet.
Mine were quickly eaten up in the daily queue posting, and I’ve only had one other person submitting any to me.

Please submit your tirades to keep this blog alive. 

Why is it that people feel the need to take 2, 3, or more paper towels in the public restrooms? 1 is all you really need to dry ones hand. When someone takes several, you can see a large amount of dry spots left on each piece. 

I can’t stand the feeling of cotton balls, and sometimes kleenex. I gringe at the times that I have to use them to remove nail polish or for anything else. This week my boss brought some pastries during a meeting. Another co-worker used a tissue as a napkin and I couldn’t help but to then think about the feeling of it. 

I knew an older lady at my first job (office job) who would only take right turns. This obviously makes for an interesting drive as she goes out of her way to only go right. I wonder how this affected her vehicle. 

1. The Neurotic Need for Affection and Approval

This needs include the desires to be liked, to please other people, and meet the expectations of others. People with this type of need are extremely sensitive to rejection and criticism and fear the anger or hostility of others.

2. The Neurotic Need for a Partner Who Will Take Over One’s Life

These involve the need to be centered on a partner. People with this need suffer extreme fear of being abandoned by their partner. Oftentimes, these individuals place an exaggerated importance on love and believe that having a partner will resolve all of life’s troubles.

3. The Neurotic Need to Restrict One’s Life Within Narrow Borders

Individuals with this need prefer to remain inconspicuous and unnoticed. They are undemanding and content with little. They avoid wishing for material things, often making their own needs secondary and undervaluing their own talents and abilities.

4. The Neurotic Need for Power

Individuals with this need seek power for its own sake. They usually praise strength, despise weakness, and will exploit or dominate other people. These people fear personal limitations, helplessness, and uncontrollable situations.

5. The Neurotic Need to Exploit Others

These individuals view others in terms of what can be gained through association with them. People with this need generally pride themselves in their ability to exploit other people and are often focused on manipulating others to obtain desired objectives, including such things as ideas, power, money, or sex.

6. The Neurotic Need for Prestige

Individuals with a need for prestige value themselves in terms of public recognition and acclaim. Material possessions, personality characteristics, professional accomplishments, and loved ones are evaluated based upon prestige value. These individuals often fear public embarrassment and loss of social status.

7. The Neurotic Need for Personal Admiration

Individuals with a neurotic need for personal admiration are narcissistic and have an exaggerated self-perception. They want to be admired based on this imagined self-view, not upon how they really are.

8. The Neurotic Need for Personal Achievement

According to Horney, people push themselves to achieve greater and greater things as a result of basic insecurity. These individuals fear failure and feel a constant need to accomplish more than other people and to top even their own earlier successes.

9. The Neurotic Need for Self-Sufficiency and Independence

These individuals exhibit a “loner” mentality, distancing themselves from others in order to avoid being tied down or dependent upon other people.

10. The Neurotic Need for Perfection and Unassailability

These individuals constantly strive for complete infallibility. A common feature of this neurotic need is searching for personal flaws in order to quickly change or cover up these perceived imperfections.

When I eat I have the issue of not wanting my food to touch. I can’t stand the fancier places that like to pile chicken on potatoes topped with sauce. If I want  them all together, I can do that myself.